Source: My FitPort. Originally published on Persephone and cross-posted here with their permission. I was IMing with a friend recently about a guy she has an unrequited crush on. She was absolutely smitten, but thoroughly convinced that he would have nothing to do with her. I am proud to be an Asian woman and to look the way that I do. My issue with being an Asian woman and trying to date has less to do with my perception of myself, and everything to do with the way I am treated and perceived by men, specifically non-Asian men. Meeting new people in a romantic sense is difficult for anyone. And, for me, the experience has been made all the more difficult and uncomfortable by stereotypes about Asian women.
Online dating can be anxiety inducing, demoralizing, and just plain horrible. The interactions can be painful, and it takes a ton of interaction with sketchy, profane or just uninteresting people to find someone who might be a good match. On this week’s episode of the Reply All podcast, This American Life producer Stephanie Foo talks about the particular difficulty of online dating as an Asian woman.
The story begins with a woman named Suzanne.
White guys who say they’re into ‘Asian chicks’ might think they’re super progressive, but some Asian women disagree – strongly.
The fact is — yeah, we all are. We have centuries of oppression combined in one body that may excite you, Mr. Thousand Oaks, but it also has ambivalent feelings about dating a race of historical colonizers and oppressors. We both stared at him open-mouthed, shocked and outraged. I could only teach them Spanish akin to a ninth-grade primer. Ella nada en el mar.
Ellos nadan en el mar. Nadamos en el mar.
Asian Ladies: Dating & Yellow Fever Examined
This time, things are a bit different though, perhaps more enlightened. There are no monolithic groups of race in 21st century America. Because honestly? Kidding of course.
When I was younger, I was convinced that no one would ever find me attractive because I’m Asian. I don’t fit into eurocentric beauty standards.
Ever heard of yellow fever? No, not the disease you can pick up when travelling to certain countries. I’m talking about when Caucasian men develop an acute sexual preference for East Asian women — even becoming a fetish, for some. Naturally, there are dating websites aplenty dedicated to ‘serving’ those men who have yellow fever, where the average East Asian women is increasingly being perceived as a desirable partner.
In fact, the most recent figures from 2. As a Chinese, single woman in the UK – where I have rarely come across racism — my East Asian friends and I have encountered a fair share of men with telltale signs of yellow fever.
The Other ‘Yellow Fever’—Why Are Some People Exclusively Attracted to Asian Women?
He might be showing symptoms of yellow fever. So what exactly is yellow fever and how did it cultivate? This practice continued throughout history as seen in the Korean and Vietnam wars. It is the fetization of Asian women by non-Asian males.
Researchers recently took data from the Facebook app Are You Interested and found that not only is race a factor in our online dating interests.
My friend scrolls through the photos of a man on Facebook. But in many of his photos, he is accompanied by Asian women. No, not the potentially fatal viral hemorrhagic disease transmitted by infected mosquitoes, but rather a preference for Asian women. The term is most commonly ascribed to white men who seem to only ever date Asian women. Yellow fever is a widespread phenomenon. According to data collected from online dating sites, all men except Asians prefer to romantically pursue Asian women.
In fact, there are many dating sites specifically tailored for white men looking to date Asian women. So the real question is not whether white men have a preference for Asian women, but why? The answer varies depending on whom you ask. Unfortunately, neither of these answers is correct. Obviously, Asian women are simply not any more docile or submissive than any other ethnicity.
Is Racial Stereotyping on Dating Apps Getting Worse?
Being born and raised in Australia, it never really dawned on me for quite awhile that non Asian men in Australia fetishised Asian women and had all these ideas that Asian women even those of us in Australia are petite, meek, obedient but adventurous in the bedroom. I only realised when I dated a guy in my very young adult life and he specifically told me that he only went for Asian women for the reasons I mentioned above. It is not a surprise that most if not all of us Asian Australian women face this type of discrimination — and yes I will call it discrimination because that is what it is.
As our culture continues to normalize the idea of “yellow fever,” I’m pretty tired of dealing with it.
By Chin Lu. Sign-up for The Bold Italic newsletter to get the best content about life in the Bay Area in your inbox every week. What could go wrong? Even better, they believe they could use that fetish to their advantage as a fool-proof strategy for getting laid or landing a date. Nothing negative about that, right? When it happens to me, I feel cheapened and offended instead. You had no personal choice in the matter. You are and always will be a Giants fan until the day you die — you know you might as well never go home if you change the team you cheer for.
I’m not your Asian dating stereotype
I once asked my first boyfriend what his friends thought about me. Apparently they were amused that he was dating a Chinese girl, and teased him about “riding her like a Kawasaki. Growing up in New Zealand, I often grappled with being different.
I was IMing with a friend recently about a guy she has an unrequited crush on. She was absolutely smitten, but thoroughly convinced that he.
An Asian fetish is a strong sexual or romantic preference for persons of Asian descent, especially East or Southeast Asian descent and to some extent South Asian descent. The fetishization of East Asians by people of other ethnicities is sometimes described by the derogatory term yellow fever. Asian women are often stereotyped as being subservient, passive, and quiet. This portrayal persists today, along with the idea of Asian women—and, to a lesser extent, men—being exotic and submissive.
In the afterword to the play M. Butterfly , the writer David Henry Hwang , using the term “yellow fever”, a derogatory pun on the disease of the same name , discusses Caucasian men with a “fetish” for east Asian women. The pun refers to the color terminology for race , in which persons of East and Southeast Asian heritage are sometimes described as “Yellow people”. The term “yellow fever” describes someone who is inflicted with a disease, implying that someone with an Asian fetish has a sickness.
Hwang argues that this phenomenon is caused by stereotyping of Asians in Western society. The slang term used for a gay man, usually Caucasian, who exclusively dates men of Asian descent is ” rice queen “. In a two-year study on dating preferences among Columbia University students, researchers did not find evidence of a general preference among Caucasian men for Asian women.