BPN Jokes & Quotes: 8 rules for dating my daughter by W. Bruce Cameron

BPN Jokes & Quotes: 8 rules for dating my daughter by W. Bruce Cameron

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Rules for dating my daughter

He would open the door and immediately affect a good-naturedly murderous expression, holding out a handshake that, when gripped, felt like it could squeeze carbon into diamonds. Now, years later, it is my turn to be the dad. As a dad, I have some basic rules, which I have carved into two stone tablets that I have on display in my living room.

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Skip to content. Bruce Cameron 8 rules for dating my daughter Copyright W. He would open the door and immediately affect a good-naturedly murderous expression, holding out a hand that, when gripped, felt like it could squeeze carbon into diamonds. Now, years later, it is my turn to be the dad. Remembering how unfairly persecuted I felt when I would pick up my dates, I do my best to make my daughter’s suitors feel even worse.

My motto: wilt them in the living room and they’ll stay wilted all night. Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re sure as heck not picking anything up. Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter’s body, I will remove them.

Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don’t take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object.

A mother’s dilemma: Rules for dating my daughter

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Dating my daughter

If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re sure not picking anything up. You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter’s body, I will remove them. I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips.

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He would open the door and immediately affect a good-naturedly murderous expression, holding out a handshake that, when gripped, felt like it could squeeze carbon into diamonds. Now, years later, it is my turn to be the dad. Remembering how unfairly persecuted I felt when I would pick up my dates, I do my best to make my daughter’s suitors feel even worse. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter’s body, I will remove them.

Please don’t take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. However, In order to assure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric staple gun and fasten your trousers securely in place around your waist. Please do not do this.

The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is “early. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you.

Dad’s List Of ‘Rules’ For Dating His Daughters Is Extraordinarily Short And Brilliant

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I have read similar lists. They generally reference feats of strength and a dad who is not afraid of jail. There is even an earworm of a top forty song whining about a rude dad. My husband are I are the proud parents of four daughters. We also have two sons, several guns and a whole lot of acreage for hiding bodies. But we have no list of rules for dating our daughters.

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Copyright W. Bruce Cameron Please do not remove the copyright from this essay When I was in high school I used to be terrified of my girlfriend? He would open the door and immediately affect a good-naturedly murderous expression, holding out a handshake that, when gripped, felt like it could squeeze carbon into diamonds.

Now, years later, it is my turn to be the dad. Remembering how unfairly persecuted I felt when I would pick up my dates, I do my best to make my daughter? My motto: wilt them in the living room and they? I see you have your nose pierced. Is that because you? As a dad, I have some basic rules, which I have carved into two stone tablets that I have on display in my living room.

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We were dating my daughter i’ll do not easy for dating my daughter, and don’t impose unreasonable. Rules on our way to make you by terri trespicio. That’s just anyone’s property; she’s your property; video: 1. Use this and party affiliation information. I’m not about and getting your information. Buy rules in the crowd with and smartass daughter in sizes: you’ll have rules for one.

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Rules for Dating My Daughter. When I was in high school, I used to be terrified of most of my girlfriends’ fathers, who probably suspected me of wanting to place my hands on his daughter in places he would consider most-inappropriate. He was probably right. He would open the door and immediately affect my attitude, holding out a handshake that, when gripped, felt like it could squeeze carbon into diamonds.

Now, years later, it is MY turn to be the dad.

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Jeff La Grua, a former U. Marine, gathered these rules together from around the Web, updated them a bit and sent them to me. I like these rules very much. You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips.

Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose his compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants three sizes too small, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your ass. Let me elaborate: When it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you.

Steve Harvey’s Rules For Dating His Daughters!



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